Our Day at the ERs (yes, that's plural!)

Originally Posted on 02/27/08 on a former blog of mine:

Ok, so today has been utterly crazy. We (Ayana & I) were taking a shower this morning, because she didn't want to take her morning nap. So I figured, ok, we'll get in the shower, she'll lay down, then fall asleep, then I can get a tiny bit of sewing done. Yeah right. She turned around to ask me to put soap on her rag, and she slips and falls. On the way down, she hits the track of the sliding glass door. (yes, I hate them, and want them removed!!!!!!!!) So she has this ugly gash on the outside of her lip and abrasions on the inside from where her teeth went into the skin.
I don't freak out -- as you know this is my 4th child, and I know that stuff happens. =) But she isn't even crying. Which kind of shocked me. Instead she's screaming bloody murder, and of course, the vent window in my bathroom is open, so the neighborhood probably thinks that I abuse the hell out of her, LOL...I know they don't =)
So I get dressed, get her dressed, get Ian up from his morning nap, get him dressed, and get everyone in the car with cups, diaper bag, and snacks, in about 6 minutes flat.

On the way out the driveway, I call our PCP to ask his opinion, he said take her to the affiliated ER -- I get there, they don't want to deal with her, because she's fussing, and they say that she has to have stitches, but because she's fussing, they would need to sedate her and they can't don't feel comfortable doing that (most hospitals around here won't because we have a Children's Hospital). Ok fine. I call Dr Masters again, this time on his personal cell phone. He said to bring her in and he and another Dr will take a look at it and see if PlasticS (plastic surgery department) can do it. PlasticS say that they'll do it. They want to use the glue, etc. I was gun-ho for it...until she freaked out some more, and they didn't know how to deal with it. Mind you, we are seen at Mayo Clinic Jacksonville, where 99.9999999999999999999999999% of their patients are senior citizens, because it's mostly a cancer, heart and hospice hospital -- but Levi works there and Chad Masters is one of his good friends, who is our family doctor. Anyhow -- but this time we are refunded $135 already ($125 for ER visit and $10 PCP co-pay) -- I was good cuz I'm going to need it at Wolfson's (the Children's hospital). They refer us to Wolfson's, but this time I'm pissed off because everyone is so freaking scared to make her more upset, I just want the damned thing closed the hell up. We finally make it to Wolfson's @ 4pm, they take us back almost immediately. But we weren't seen until about 6:30, then they make the final decision to stitch her up. I asked about the sedation, they said no, they said that they'd give her a topical anesthetic and then some medicine that will make her loop -- so that she won't remember the traumatic experience. All this time, with the other two places, I'm thinking, well hell, do I really want to do this if she is going to be traumatized by it? She's really freaking out.
They put the topical anesthetic on. Totally doesn't even look like it's on her lip, but it is, because the cut is more on a tiny fraction of her lip and the skin immediately below it.
They let her play and sit for about 20 minutes, then they strap her into the papoose -- which by the way she loved -- said that she was a mummy! And stitched her all up. She was 'drunk' and wobbly for a long while..even after we got home. Mind you she hasn't eaten all day and neither did I, so on the way home, I stop to get her some fries..and she pukes them up all over the car. I called the hospital to cuss them out for not telling me at all that she can't eat or it'll make her sick.
So here she is laying on my bed intoxicated. Acting a fool, even worse than the normal toddler silliness!
2 stitches! So that's the first episode of stitches in the current history of all 4 kids!!!!

I am now off to drink some wine and knock out myself. The house is quiet, all the kids are asleep, Levi is out with his friends, and I should be sewing or bow making, but not tonight. I gave myself the day off =) The ENTIRE day, LOL.

Is Enough, Enough?

Originally Posted on 09/22/07 on a former blog of mine:

Seriously, this is ridiculious -- what's wrong with America today? Do people still teach their children the difference in skin color?
Judge Denies Request To Free Jena Teen
CNN VideoJENA, La. (AP) -- A judge on Friday denied a request to release a teenager whose arrest in the beating of a white classmate sparked this week's civil rights protest in Louisiana. Mychal Bell's request to be freed while an appeal is being reviewed was rejected at a juvenile court hearing, effectively denying him any chance at immediate bail, a person familiar with the case told The Associated Press. The person spoke on condition of anonymity because juvenile court proceedings are closed.
Earlier, Bell's mother emerged from the hearing in tears, refusing to comment.
Bell, 17, was convicted of aggravated second-degree battery, which could have led to 15 years in prison. But his conviction was thrown out by a state appeals court that said he could not be tried on the charge as an adult because he was 16 at the time of the beating.
"This is why we did not cancel the march," said the Rev. Al Sharpton, an organizer of Thursday's rally along with the Rev. Jesse Jackson and the NAACP. "When they overturned Mychal's conviction, everyone said we won."
Jackson said in an interview Friday that federal intervention is needed to protect Bell's rights. Sharpton said he has scheduled meetings in Washington with congressional leaders to discuss the Jena Six case.
At a separate closed hearing Friday, a judge refused a request from defense attorneys to remove Judge J.P. Mauffray Jr. from Bell's case, said John Jenkins, father of one of Bell's co-defendants.
Defense lawyers have complained that Mauffray set a high bail for Bell - $90,000 - prior to his conviction in the Barker beating. Mauffray had cited Bell's criminal record, which included juvenile arrests for battery and damage to property, in setting the bail.
On Thursday, the case drew thousands of protesters to this tiny central Louisiana town to rally against what they see as a double standard of justice for blacks and whites. The march was one of the biggest civil rights demonstrations in years.
The case dates to August 2006, when a black Jena High School student asked the principal whether blacks could sit under a shade tree that was a frequent gathering place for whites. He was told yes. But nooses appeared in the tree the next day.
Three white students were suspended but not criminally prosecuted. LaSalle Parish District Attorney Reed Walters has said he could find no state law covering the act.
The incident was followed by fights between blacks and whites that culminated in the attack on Justin Barker, who was knocked unconscious on school grounds. According to court testimony, his face was swollen and bloodied, but he was able to attend a school function that night.
Five of the teens were originally charged with attempted second-degree murder - charges that have since been reduced for four of them. The sixth was booked as a juvenile on sealed charges.

Men can never win

Originally Posted on 09/22/07 on a former blog of mine:

How true are these statements?
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your buttand find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something.If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

Supposed to be a true story

Originally Posted on 09/20/07 on a former blog of mine:


This is off the chain. Completely hilariously funny and should happen on the daily!
This scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg and London .
A White woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess. "Madam, what is the matter," the hostess asked. "You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat." "Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this Flight is taken.
I will go to see if another place is available." The Hostess wentaway and then came back a few minutes later. "Madam, Just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to thecaptain and he informed me that there is a seat in the business class.All the same, we still have one place in the first class." Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued: "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the firstclass. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting." So the hostess turned to the black guy, and said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to,please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first class." At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they hadJust witnessed stood up and applauded.

A Baby's Angel -- for all you Parents out there!

Originally Posted on 09/19/07 on a former blog of mine:

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow,but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?""Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have todo anything but sing and smile to be happy." God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. Andyou will feel your angel's love and be very happy." Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand whenpeople talk to me if I don't know the language?"God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet wordsyou will ever hear, and with much patience andcare, your angel will teach you how to speak.""And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach youhow to pray.""Who will protect me?"God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking it'slife.""But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teachyou the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next toyou."At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earthcould be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leavenow, please tell me my angel's name.""You will simply call her, "Mom." [ or "Dad"]

School update

Originally Posted on 09/19/07 on a former blog of mine:

So, I am almost done with 100 speed. I mean, I have a Lit that has to be graded still; but they just returned it to the instructors last night. So within the week, I will know if I got it. I had 26 errors; but one is questionable; so that might bring me down to 25 errors, right at the MAE (Maximum Allowable Errors) -- in other words, yes, court reporters make mistakes too, it's just how you edit your transcript, lol.
Anyhow, so with this being said. I have an ENTIRE book of homework to do. And NO -- I hate doing homework at home. Because I don't have an electric machine nor the software -- it's more tedious and time consuming. It may take me a whole hour to complete 1 lesson of 14-16 exercises -- yet another 3-4 hours analyzing the notes to ensure accuracy and meeting the MAE rate for that particular lesson. So, now my goal is to get another grant to cover the expense of purchasing an electric machine and software -- which will run together, roughly $6-7K. YIKES!
But I had a melt-down at school because I just got off of a late summer break, and I had every intention of doing homework at home -- but just didn't get to it -- either I had orders to fulfill or the kids had this and that going on. So, I'm not where I need to be as far as the homework is concerned. I was trying to learn from other student's mistakes, as to not pass all the tests and yet be held back by the homework load.
But I just got into this speed 2 weeks ago!! How insane is that? I mean, it takes me 3 months to just 3 lousy tests to pass speed 80 and move on to 100. But I will take into account that it was summer time and the kids were not in school -- therefore -- my time was basically consumed from sunrise to sunfall. And writing on this 20 year old manual machine is so depressing.
There are times where I just want to stand in the lobby at school and drop it down to the ground floor -- or throw it out the window as I'm driving down Beach Blvd -- but that would be considered littering -- not to mention property damage to other passing VAOEKZ (vehicles).
So, I am now in the homework phase of this class. Everyone jokes that it takes them more time to do the homework than to write the 500 hundred word test in 5 minutes; 3 times just to move on to the next class. And my fellow classmates have ensured me that when I do get pass the homework phase; and move on to the next class; the homeworks are as bad and long as this class. This is the worst class when it comes to the homework. So with that said, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
So, now that I'm almost a 120 student -- that means that I still have to add on another 125 words a minute before I can graduate.
Can I write it?Yes I can!(think -- Bob the Builder! LMAO!)
Monster was talking to us last night about a psycho therapy exercise that we need to exercise everyday at least once a day -- but me, being me, I'mma do it multiple times a day. And the exercise is as follows:
Look in the mirror.Smile your biggest smile.And tell yourself OUT LOUD:
I can write over 100 WPM for 5 minute tests with no drops.
My notes are so clean, transcription is a breeze.
My [x amount of] hours of practice each week have really paid off.
And this exercise is to basically psych myself to not have test anxiety. Which, believe it or not, Ritz has. And Ritz has it BIG TIME!
Now, if Monster would just read to us for 5 minutes and after he's done, say, "Ok, folks. That was just a 100 LIT/JC/QA TEST -- turn it in if you must -- if not -- you know the drill." Then it would be POC [piece of cake]. Otherwise, I just get jello fingers and don't really know what my fingers are doing other than moving around on my machine, like they know what they are doing.
Wait, they do know what they are doing, otherwise, how would I have passed my 100 JC and Q&A? **shoulder shrug**
anyhow, that's my education woes for the week.
Muah!~

blogging hiatus

Originally Posted on 09/16/07 on a former blog of mine:

I'm taking a hiatus of blogging...I'm in a hard situation and I've gotta seek help from the good Lord as to how I'm going to handle the situation. For those of you who know what's going on with me, please keep my family and myself on your prayer lists.

My day

Originally Posted on 09/12/07 on a former blog of mine:

Well, you know I worked today. I sent out a cap order. Then I did nothing else. Well, I took a 2 hour nap -- it was nice. Had a nice dream. LOL. Anyhow, I'm going to be making bows tonight.
I'll probably post more tomorrow. I'm still tired from pulling an all nighter.

The Government and our SSNs

Originally Posted on 09/11/07 on a former blog of mine:

What gives? First a laptop gets stolen with veterans' SSNs -- and now SSNs from POW center? Hello, attention Government Agency -- NO, you can not have my SSN -- you can't keep it safe. AHHH -- I see the relation -- just like our troops in the Mid East -- you can order them to deploy, yet you can't keep them safe, nor guarantee that they will have orders to return home.
Ok -- I'mma stop it here, b/c I'm a little T'd off.

Plans for this week...

Originally Posted on 09/09/07 on a former blog of mine:

«around the item indicates that it was completed»Let's see.
1) work on existing orders«2) Monday -- playdate for Ian and Ayana @ 10 am»3) check over homework4) jump start research assignment for Cultural Geography class«5) do more homework»6) talk to my bestest alot7) sort out paperwork in filing cabinet8) buy some more envirotex lite -- a whole bunch of it.9) order more bottlecaps10) take pics of clothing/shoes for ebay11) list those items on ebay12) take pics of headbands/bows for portfolio/website/my bestest13) Grab book from library14) burn disc for Ro -- business Forms«15) copy pages of free money book»«16) look for regain sanity pills -- Thanks Ro, u ain't been any type of help -- esp when u said that u were gonna be lookin for me.... -- marked as completed b/c I can't find any and Ro just ain't helpin!»
wow, I think that I can do that all. wait, forget think. I KNOW that I can.

My weekend

Originally Posted on 09/09/07 on a former blog of mine:

Well, let's see..let's start with Friday -- since for me, that's the first day of my weekend -- HA! Being a WAHM -- everyday is the weekend. Anyhow, on Friday things were weird between Levi and I. I told him that I had to take the girls to the library to check out new books and then to drop Liza (eldest DD) off at her Dad's house for the weekend. I get ready to go -- get the girls books together -- get Liza's backpack together -- sign all her sign and returns -- and make sure that she has everything that she needs because her dad is going to take her to school on Monday morning -- a normal occurance. Anyhow, Levi, being as controling as he is said, "Get her ready." Talking about Ayana. I said why, I'm not taking her with me. Heck to the nah, cuz Ayana is already reaching the terrible twos -- and not even two yet -- but she can't keep her blessed mouth shut -- especially in the library -- where she needs to be quiet.
So -- Levi was persistant -- so I get Liza and Kayleigh to switch over the car seats from my car to his car. We all pile in. We go to the library -- library was closed -- we go to Scott's house to drop Liza off -- then I thought that we were going home, but we ended up in Walmart to go grocery shopping. Now, for a little history -- my business is just beginning so there isn't a lot of Net income -- and for the time being, Levi is the primary bread-winner. So I don't think nothing of it. I do get T'd off in the store because when I would try to say something, he would give me the "shut up" look. I mean, yeah, I know that I'm not funding this grocery shopping trip, but normally I do the shopping, and 99.9% of the cooking, therefore I am particular about what I buy; brand-wise, etc. But I didn't say anything -- not trying to cause a scene in the store.
And then we get home -- he cooks dinner. I'm tellin ya, I almost had a heart attack. It was nice because I was able to work on some orders that I had. Anyhow, my boi Ro calls -- normal occurance -- and I go out to the garage to smoke and talk. I like to smoke and talk -- don't ask why -- but I have to do 2 other things while talking on the phone -- 1) smoke and 2) walk around my yard. So, I do that. I'm actually sitting on a stool in the garage while talking to Ro and Levi pops his head out the door saying, "Something smells fishy. There's something fishy going on." Funny thing is; dude has a ton of female friends -- but the second that my boi comes back into my life, going back 20 yrs -- it's a problem. Like we're having infidelities -- which is far from the case.
So I get off the phone and ask him what his problem is. And all he would say is, "I'm doing my own investigation. When I come to a conclusion, I will let you know." and I respond, "Ok, I'm sorry that you feel this way, but I'm open about everything and there isn't anything going on."
Saturday:things are peaceful. I'm up at the crack of dawn, only because I forget to turn the alarm off. So, when I wake up I find $80 next to my alarm clock. No biggie, because I asked for it and I got Kayleigh up -- then Ian and Ayana, fed all of them and Kayleigh and I set off to the bank to deposit all of my cash and to PVB to drop off the cashier's check.
Things are peaceful around the house. He helped me smoke some ribs and chicken -- YUM! I love ribs. I can eat them everyday of the year!
Sunday: Still peaceful around the house. Got 2 more orders today. Ro -- we really needa put a site up -- ASAP. I'm working on funding for it, k? But I need ya expertise.
Anyhow, that's my weekend. Started off rocky and ended on a good note. Ro -- things were peaceful, no conversation about the obvious probs, but no conflict either. So, it was aight. Let me know what ur thinkin, boo.

Some things are better left unsaid

Originally Posted on 09/07/07 on a former blog of mine:

Have you ever said something or somethings that later thought that maybe you shouldn't have put your thoughts or emotions out on Front Street?
I feel that way right now. I mean, I'm cool with it -- but at the same time -- I'm not.
I've got issues to work on -- n until I'm successful at marking things off of my check off list -- I'mma chill.
Maybe I'm just the type of female that creates her own drama. I don't wanna be that anymore.
I'm tired of opening my mouth and inserting my foot.
Ro, I'm sorry. I, too, was being honest. It's all good, though, ya still my dawg.Luvz ya!

New Pic

Originally Posted on 09/07/07 on a former blog of mine:

This pic was taken yesterday -- before I went to school.

So Fresh So Clean

Originally Posted on 09/07/07 on a former blog of mine:

So, my trees got pruned today. The branches were hanging over the driveway causing this yuckiness on the cars. Talk about not being able to keep the car clean -- leaf residue is a bia to get off the enamel. Anyhow, so here's the pad now -- lookin' so fresh so clean:

Heated discussion

Originally Posted on 09/07/07 on a former blog of mine:

I'm currently taking a cultural geography class and this kind of topic came up last night when speaking about Jihad vs. McWorld, so I just wanted to get all of ur thoughts about this:

I'm a member of another mommie site called mamasource.com.

This is a post that I replied to, please tell me if you think that I went off the deep end.

Original Post:From: Jessica G

Date: Wed. May. 30, 2007

I was just wondering what people really think about interracial families? I am american but I am married to a man who is Mexican. He is a very great guy, good father and he has his own small company. I feel as though sometimes people look at me differently when they see my husband. There is nothing wrong with him he speaks perfect english and is a respectable guy. We have been a victim of racial discrimination at a restaurant but really had no way to prove it. I am looking for encouragement. Sometimes people think differently of me because of this.I am a stay at home mom who is just trying to raise good kids. I consider myself a good person and have never hurt anybody so why am i hated at times?

Jessica's followup:Thank you everybody for your kind words. I just wanted to say that this is not a main focus in our lives but something that we are faced with from time to time. I do not feel like it should go under the rug. For the most part everybody loves us, that is the people that know us for who we really are. God made everybody with imperfections, that is why some of these people are hateful for no reason..If God can forgive them so can I . I will just love everybody and not let this issue bother me,Smile and keep going(:

Another member's post to Jessica:

From: Trina H

Date: Fri. Jun. 08, 2007

Dear Jessica G.I am not really following the problem that you are going through by the way that you describe your circumstances, so I will do my best to answer you as intelligently as I can with the information that you have provided thus far. You mentioned in your request that you were an American. One could only assume that your husband is not an American or you just perhaps forgot to mention that in your story.

If your husband is a Mexican and here in the U.S. on a green card having no citizenship, under the current problem that the United States is having regarding illegal immigrants from Mexico crossing the border (recent news in the paper and on the TV) and coming into the United States, seeking shelter, jobs, government assistance, which is beyond me how they would get government assistance if they are only here on a green card, but our officials tend to bend rules and what not on occasion. This might be the cause of your concern and the reason why you are feeling the way that you do. I am not condoning it or saying its right, I am merely speaking from what I have heard in the news myself and answering your question.

I can't speak directly to the issues that you are having with regard to feeling like a victim of racial discrimination, but I will attempt to answer you on a more general level since I do not know your full story and circumstances.

There are a great number of interracial couples in America, so you are most likely not in the minority. There are not too many countries that I know of that 100% of any country's citizens agree 100% to "interracial couples and families". Keeping that in mind, you must realize that no matter where you go, where you live, where you work, etc...there is always going to be people who do not agree with who you are, who you are married to, what you do for a living, whether you have children or you don't have children, your religious beliefs or the lack thereof and the list can go on and on, but I think you get what I am saying. Basically this...you might want to focus on making your lives better than worrying so much about others. All that will do is break you down and you can't survive and accomplish the things you want to accomplish if you allow others to guide the direction of your life.

If those around you are making you feel uncomfortable because you are married to a Mexican, the only way in my mind that would make sense is that your husband is not a citizen of this country. The truth is that any person from another country who comes to the U.S., though we are called the "melting pot", and that person is not a citizen of our country, but reaps all the benefits or a great deal of the benefits of being an American, while full-blooded, born and raised in the U.S.A. citizens of our country fight for this country in wartime such as the current war with Iraq, they fight for rights that others receive who are not of this country, well that causes a great deal of tension and anger, and rightly so. We have right here in our country people who so desperately need a place to live, but live in tents, need a job but can't get it because an immigrant will work for less though the American paid to educate themselves for that job only to have it given to someone who did not and only because he or she is willing to take less pay. There are Americans in our country that are starving, but food will shipped to other countries, people all over this country who can't get health insurance, refused medical treatment and medicines they so desperately need but denied. There are so many reasons that I could mentioned, but I am sure that you understand what I am saying. If you are receiving anger and resentment from others regarding your marriage to a person from another country....the United States is made up of all kinds of nationalities from our ancestors forward to today, so we all have in our blood lines other countries passed down from one generation to another, so that alone would not be the reason why you feel like a victim.

I personally have a great number of friends who are of mixed nationalities, who come from other countries and live here in the U.S. and I have never looked at them with anything but respect. A majority of them are citizens and some are going through the process of becoming an American citizen. These people show their admiration for America, they show their pride for America and yet they were born else where. They want so much to be a working, contributing American citizen because they value the United States and they value what we stand for and our freedom. I have witnessed their journey through learning about America, to the courthouse and when they stood up proudly and raised their right hand to become an official citizen of the United States....what a wonderful and proud moment for them. They are not here to "take", they are here to "give back". I believe you when you say that you "feel hated at times", but Jessica, let me tell you honey....we are all hated for one reason or another. That is very sad to say, but it is still the truth.

I don't know if I have helped you or confused you, but I wish you the best.

Have a great day, Trina

My post to the whole thing:

From: Ritz Y

Date: Wed. Aug. 08, 2007

Jessica, this was spotlighted on the left hand column when I logged in today. Looks like you've received many replies with great advice. I am personally a Philippina woman with a black boyfriend. I haven't experienced anything like this before, and I pray that I don't ever, and that my children don't ever have to.

The reason for my reply is to respond to Trina H.

Trina you wrote: "The truth is that any person from another country who comes to the U.S., though we are called the "melting pot", and that person is not a citizen of our country, but reaps all the benefits or a great deal of the benefits of being an American, while full-blooded, born and raised in the U.S.A. citizens of our country fight for this country in wartime such as the current war with Iraq, they fight for rights that others receive who are not of this country, well that causes a great deal of tension and anger, and rightly so."

I just want to clarify something here. The military is just like other employers whose company is created/maintained/located on US soil; they can't discriminate because you're not a citizen. As long as you have your Alien Registration card that claims that you can work for ANY employer in the US, they will take you.

Now with that being said. I'm a Permanent Resident. Born in the Philippines, raised in the US. I'm 27 years old have been here since I was 2 years old. I, a NON-citizen, served in the Navy for 5 years. Yes, *I* deployed to the Mid-East, (they also need supplies in Iraq, not just on a vessel or in the US), to fight for the the rights of the US Citizens along with others who may be Permanent Residents or Illegal Aliens.

So tell me this: Even though I'm not originally from here, nor am I a citizen; why is it that the stereo-type is that Soldiers and members of the Armed Forces are automatically thought of as US Citizens, and US Citizens alone?

I've witnessed so many Naturalization Ceremonies -- where there were 100s of recipients -- per ceremony -- receiving their Naturalization status. Point being: NOT 100% of our military are US Citizens. So, people in general should be thankful of ALL military and not just those who are citizens, because us, non-citizens are out there sweating our asses off; missing our families; going days without showers, the list goes on and on; just like our compadres or as the Navy likes to call it, "Shipmates", that are US citizens.

Ok, sorry this was long. But comments like this really get to me, only because I've experienced discrimination in the not so obvious ways.

You can't walk down the street and point out, "Oh, he/she is not a citizen. But she is. And he isn't." It's just not that obvious. We don't have some kind of scarlet letter tattooed to our foreheads.

Oh and I, too, have student loan debts, close to $25,000, to educate myself. And even after getting out of the US Navy, I was denied unemployment, b/c I voluntarily got out -- end of contract -- but never the less, my choice, not my employers. Was also denied food stamps and medical insurance for my kids -- What did that do for me? Not hate this country, but hate the politics of it. I find it hard to believe that even though I'm not a citizen of this country -- all my education has been here in the US -- speak perfect English -- know 4 other languages, too -- defended that government agencies right to refuse me service -- I was denied. That was something extremely hard for me to take. Not to say that veterans should get preferential treatment -- but better treatment than I got -- at that point!

Oh, and Ms. Trina, please don't take it that I was directing any bad feeling towards you, I just got reminded of my own discrimination experience, and I started rambling. I apologize if I came off like that.

My day

Originally Posted on 09/06/07 on a former blog of mine:

I had an ok day. It really started off rocky. Rocky to the point the Rohan was vexed bout how i was coping with it and how i reacted to it -- but i got better throughout the day. he's been a great help. he said something to me today that got me thinking about what he said...so i'mma ponder that for some time.
i pray that next week will be a better week for me in school - b/c this week sucked!

Bored -- took this survey

Originally posted on 09/06/07 on a former blog of mine:

Life Questions

TAKE THIS SURVEY!

Take this survey

how old do you feel 50
where were you on september 11th, 2001 i was in bootcamp thinking "what in the hell did i get myself into?"
what do you believe is the meaning of life when i find out, i'll let ya know
why is the sky blue because that's the color that God intended for it to be
what is your favorite thing to cook food :)
you have only a dollar to your name...what do you buy nothing
what would your last meal be baked mac n cheese, greens, black eye peas, pork ribs, corn on the cob, peach cobbler with some pound cake
what is the youngest age you have memories of 2
what is your favorite thing in the world my babies
have you ever punched someone on purpose yes
do you know what color chartreuse is close to green
did you like garbage pail kids at one point in time
why do we have daylight savings time to conserve energy; so that we are more productive during the natural light source of the sun
what living person would you want to meet oprah
what dead person ella fitzgerald
where in the world would you live if you could right here
who is your favorite artist myself -- graphics artist, lol
who has had the most influence on you (good or bad) god and the devil
what is your favorite dessert pound cake with strawberries and whipped cream
do you know your personality type moody? lol
what age is your favorite so far in your life 17 -- i was freed from DCF
can you make cookies from scratch yes -- love 'em that way - esp choco chip
was the chicken first or the egg god was first
hershey or nestle hershey
night out or night in night in=great quality time
single forever with a great family or no family and your soulmate single forever with a great family
what is your favorite scented candle hazelnut
what type of underwear do you prefer none
do you ever wear a wife beater yes -- a lot
if you could live in a store which one would it be walmart
can you eat a dozen donuts in one sitting eww..no
what is your favorite curse word ugh..too many to name
your favorite regular word lol <~~ my way overused word. phrase, whatever
have you ever read/tried to read the bible yes -- on the daily
have you ever heard of yahoo serious yes
who do you dislike most in the world the devil
what is your ideal date i'll let ya know when it happens
would you rather marry a deaf or blind person deaf
what is your favorite shape circles
can you eat just one chip nope
where is the farthest you've ever been from home across the world
what is your desktop background the BFG logo that came with the disc to install the vid card
what song do you identify with most all cried out
which movie do you wish was your life the notebook
has someone ever intentionally put food on you yes
what color is your favorite black -- cuz i think that it's a mix of all colors
what color do you feel represents you pink
do you believe in God yes
have you ever broken a bone no
have you ever shut someone's fingers in a door yes, i'm so sorry
would you rather be honest/poor or a liar/rich honest/poor
what is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten and hated ummm...not sure, ate some strange stuff overseas, but couldn't tell ya what it was or if i hated or liked it
what is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten and liked see above answer
what is your ideal ice cream creation neopolitan with praline nuts, chocolate syrup and rediwhip
what character from a movie would you marry any character that Denzel Washington plays
what is your favorite thing to do smile -- i just don't do enough of it
what is your favorite junk food chips n dip
what is the longest you've gone without talking to anyone a few minutes -- i always have to talk to my kids
what is your favorite board game scrabble
your favorite book the bible -- but i'm trying to understand it and it's context
do you know how to change a tire yes
would you consider yourself a geek of particular subjects, yes
what movie could you watch over and over again just about any
have you ever eaten paste i'm not sure -- maybe when i was a kid
have you ever gone to the bathroom in front of someone yes -- my kids never let me use the bathroom alone -- at times it's the only time that i get to myself
what is your ideal halloween costume i don't celebrate halloween
what toy have you always wanted and never gotten hrmm...a kid sister
what item could you not go without during the day computer
do you consider yourself a smart person yes very
have you ever peed in a pool yes
who was your first crush Rohan Joseph -- 3rd grade, Brookview Elementary School -- sigh -- he was my "man"
who was your first love see above answer
do you close your eyes when you listen to music nope -- i sing along
how old were you when life was the hardest 10 -- learning to live without my mom and accepting God's decision that it was her time
do you eat the burnt chips nope
do you still have your baby blanket nope
is there anything you HAVE to do everyday show and tell my children that i love them
do you curse in front of family yes, i'm sorry
what is your favorite tv show ever Beverly Hills 90210 -- only b/c i have great memories of watching it with my mother
if you had to get back with and ex who would it be not any in my adult life
when was the last time you felt truly loved by someone i feel loved by God every second of every day --
what character trait would you change about yourself my self respect -- i need more of it
3 wishes... i wish that i could hear God's answers and voice in response to my questions; I wish that I was a better person to myself; I wish that I'm doing the best that I can to be the best person that I can be to everyone that I come in contact with.
have you ever passed out i'm sure i have
have you ever slapped yourself in the face yes
have you been in a car accident that was your fault nope
favorite line from a song ??? not sure right now
favorite line from a movie see above answer
what do you do when the power goes out light the candles and have to calm the kids down

Is it 2007 or what?

Originally posted on 09/05/07 on a former blog of mine:

For those of you who are unaware of the most recent and shockin proof of "racism at its peak", I want to draw the case of the "Jena six" to your attention:
Jena is a small town nestled deep in the heart of Central Louisiana. Until recently, you may well have never heard of it. But this rural town of less than 4,000 people has become a focal point in the debate around issues of race and justice in this country.
Last December, six black students at Jena High School were arrested after a school fight in which a white student was beaten and suffered a concussion and multiple bruises. The six black students were charged with attempted second-degree murder and conspiracy. They face up to 100 years in prison without parole. The Jena Six, as they have come to be known, range in age from 15 to 17 years old.
Just over a week ago, an ALL-WHITE JURY took LESS than TWO days to convict 17 year-old Mychal Bell, the first of the Jena Six, to go on trial. He was convicted of aggravated battery and conspiracy charges and now faces up to 22 YEARS in prison!!
Black residents say that race has always been an issue in Jena, which is 85 percent White, and that the charges against the Jena Six are no exception.
The origins of the story can be traced back to early September when a black high school student requested permission to sit under a tree in the schoolyard where usually only white students sat. The next day three nooses were found hanging from the tree.
Now. . . you can decide to just close your eyes and pretend like this doesnt concern you. . .because it is "so far away" and "it may not happen in your immediate surroundings"....or you can step up and sign a petition for these six boys who in my opinion do NOT deserve to send the rest of their lives in prison for standing up for their righs. Yes, violence was not the "best" way to try and solve the matter, but these sentences are just ridiculous!!!
Please show your support and sign this petition.
http://www.petitiononline.com/aZ51CqmR/petition.html
In love and light, my prayers go out to these boys and to everyone who has to suffer from the horrible consequences of racism and prejudice!!I feel your pain!

Kids -- don't have 'em

Originally posted 09/04/07 on a former blog of mine:

Now, this is not trying to bash kids, etc. I have 4 of them, and I love them all to pieces -- but I tell ya -- the younger two -- can be something else.This year has been quite a different school year all together. I am not working -- well, working from home and not having to leave the house. That's great -- but I need my outs too. So -- the younger two, Ian (4) and Ayana (23 months) -- seem to think that with Liza (9) and Kayleigh (7) get up to get ready for school -- they need to be up too. What exactly is there to miss out on? Liza and Kayleigh always gave them a hug and kiss -- while they were sleeping -- before they left the house to catch the bus -- last year.But since they are up at the butt crack of dawn -- I feed them early. I'm usually not done with my coffee -- so I'm not fully awake and I surely don't wanna hear their screaming voices and whining -- especially that early in the morning.So with them eating early -- of course, they don't want to go back to sleep. So I let them watch some playhouse Disney and Noggin. That lasts about 10 seconds. Because next thing you know they are fighting, etc. So, not it's not even 8 am -- and I have to separate them. So then comes 8:30 -- and I hear, "Mommie, I'm hungry." Me, being me, said, "Hi Hungry, I'm Mommie." I hear the infamous, "I'm not Hungry, I'm Ian." And I say, "Good." Then I hear, "No, what would be good, is if you feed me."Boy, I swear, if I knew that slapping him, would make him stop his sarcasm, I would have done it. He probably would have just laughed at me. Anyhow, we had some errands to run today. We had to get a new tire, b/c the spare was going flat. Lovely. While I'm at Walmart, I decide, hey, might as well get an oil change, while I'm at it. So that together was $82.11. Then we got to make my car payment -- there's another $500. And then JEA. Damn JEA. The drive-through was tremendously long, and the line inside was in a swirl -- meaning that it wrapped around the building and then some. So Ian and Ayana were fairly good through that 45 minutes of waiting to pay the Electric Bill. And that was another $240. I swear, I think I just bent over today and pulled funds outta my ass -- b/c it's crazy just how much money is paid out versus what is coming in.On another note -- I go back to school today from my summer break. I'm ready. The kids are driving me crazy -- and I'm excited to be a 100 student. What that means is that I can write 100 WPM out of the 225 WPM that you need to be able to graduate. 225 WPM is a lot -- as is 100 WPM -- all machine shorthand.But I'm ready to blast through school and get outta there so that I can have that $75,000 - $100,000 /year income -- maybe I won't bitch as much about how much the bills are -- YEAH RIGHT! I'm just ready to stop living paycheck to paycheck. I hate how I have to jump online to see what my account balance is before I can swipe my card anywhere.Anyhow, this is long enough for today.Rohan, if you're reading this -- please give me a call. I'm missing ya, buddy.Hugz and blessings to everyone.

What is up with Dudes?

Originally Posted: 09/02/07 on a former blog of mine:

Ok, so how can you and your long lost best friend [aka first boyfriend -- talking about 17 yrs ago, folks!] talk everyday; multiple times a day for hot minute -- then Labor Day weekend comes -- have a great conversation Friday night -- then come Saturday -- nothing. My phone rings -- it's not him -- it's someone that I'm avoiding...a convenience friend -- not the person that I wanna really be talking to.
Rohan -- if u're reading this blog -- u make me mad! All u had to was ring n say "'eh -- I'mma chill this weekend, aight? I'll hit ya up at the start of the work week." I woulda been straight with that..but no. Nig hadda have me all worried about him. Rohan, I was so worried -- I looked up some information just soothe my mind that you didn't start drinking and had a vexed moment to where ya hemmed up 'gain. Bro -- that wouldn't have been cool -- cuz u kno I'm broke as that bum, we see on the Beach Blvd -- which one? All of 'em, lol.
Aight, I'm done -- Rohan, please don't pull that again. Ma, here, bout hadda come find u, and snatch ur tall behind up; and give u a piece of my mind.
Oh -- n it's really hard to invite you and ur daughter over for a cook-out; if ya not answering ya phone, so -- BLAH!
Luvs ya!
****Edit**** So the moral of the story is don't assume. He said that his phone was dead. I do believe him. He's never lied to me before and he has no reason to lie to me. I'm sorry, boo, for assuming.

Update -- Kinda long

Originally Posted: 09/02/07 on a former blog of mine:

So -- when I get back to school from Summer break -- I'll be a 100 Student! It's about dang time! I was struggling for awhile -- especially since my machine was stolen in May. That right there, my friends was heartbreaking. But I'm a survivor -- and still pushing it -- I will have my homework done by the time break is over -- so I won't have anything holding me back -- other than those 3 tests -- yanno the ones...JC, QA and LIT -- and let me tell you, Lit kicks my butt -- no phrasing, etc. UGH! I hate it.
Ok -- friend wise -- I have many friends -- many of you I've known since high school -- many recent -- and many just over the years -- Navy -- blah blah blah -- you know when you came into my life.
But, the ultimate blessing has come. (Aug 10th) I was eating chinese one day -- and of course -- came to the part where I break open my fortune cookie and read the fortune. Well, my fortune read, "A fond memory will soon lead to a renewed friendship." I pondered on that a bit -- the day being Aug 10th -- the 17th anniversary of my mother's murder -- not really being a great day -- but I was trying to not think about it -- tried to shift my brain to other things. I was thinking -- yeah, God allowed my eldest daughter to be born on Aug 6, so that I would have a happy memory this time of the year. Then I got to drifting to my life before my mom was murdered...how I didn't have to stress about things..about how my boy, Rohan and I used to ride our bikes up and down Crookview, until the sun went down. How nice it was then. Thinking about how we were able to play outside without the fear of being kidnapped [we do live in Florida yanno?] --
Well, come Aug 12. I was doing some volunteering and this dude was there. I'm talking shit hot. Not just in the literal way -- cuz yes, it was hot as hades out there. But he was mowing the grass -- or better yet -- trying to. But had some issues with the mower -- but this Nig had his shirt off, all glowing with sweat, etc. Well, I come out of the building that I was painting -- and he was coming up inbetween the two buildings -- and I asked him "So, ya got the mower to work?" He said "Yeah." Then we got to saying something else. Then he asked me my name. I told him. Then he said something along the lines of we went to elementary school together. He said his name.."Rohan." I tell ya, if I could have shit on myself and not be embarrassed -- I probably would have. I was in shock, awe, etc. He was a great friend. And so, we have opened up the lines of communications -- and we talk on the daily. The word I used up there "was" has now shifted to "is." It doesn't seem like 17 yrs has gone by. That's how long it's been since we've kicked it. It's amazing how things come into play in your life.
So, God has yet, again, blessed me with another great friend. I can count my blessings and know that even though I'm not working, and have no chedda...I have friends; family; and my babies. People, don't you realize that God works in mysterious ways?
On another note: My brother Jeremy: second on my friends list; is deploying to Iraq in less than 48 hours. He and Sam; along with Levi, the kids and Rohan are my life. If you believe in prayer, please take the time to say a prayer for one of my baby brothers. Please pray that God keeps him out of harms way and that he returns to his family safely. I am proud of you, Jeremy! We aren't as close as maybe we should be, but in due time, bro. I can't wait until you get back. So you can see your nieces and nephew and me, of course, and we can party until the sun comes up. You're of my heros. Continue to do good things with your life. Just know that this is God's will, for you to go out there, and you will be returning to us. We (the kids and I) are your biggest fans. I hope to make it out to the base to welcome you home, lil bro. I love you with all of my heart.
I have also decided to start my own business -- and am working 48/7 to get that up and running. So if I seem distant -- it's because I'm working -- it will all be great in due time. All in due time.
Oh yeah, I forgot to post the girls' photo of their first day of school.

Thanks for all of the support. I love you, all.